The Dance Between Fear and Love
January 2025 Edition
As we prepare for our move to Costa Rica this January, my body finds itself caught in a delicate dance between Fear and Love. Dancing with Fear feels like a high school dance. I step on my partner’s toes, stumble over my feet, and feel insecure, caught up in all the "what ifs."
What if we aren’t meant to do this? What if it doesn’t work out? What if we sell our stuff and can’t go? What if I love it and my family hates it? What if the Wi-Fi goes out daily and we can’t work? What if we aren’t welcome?
These are just a few of the many scary thoughts that cross my mind daily. Dancing with Fear, I become the most awkward version of myself. I feel lost and clumsy, with no rhythm—but I’m used to this. Fear and I have been dancing together since I was a little girl. It was part of my conditioning, a powerful motivator to keep me safe and contained. But honestly, who wants that?
Fear as a partner asks me to conceal my hope, my dreams, my light. It doesn’t ask me to grow. Instead, it whispers seductively in my ear, “Let’s stay this way. It’s so much better when we are small and quiet. Remember, you are a wallflower. You belong in the shadows. You know what happens when you laugh too loud or shine too bright. Remember how dangerous it is? Let’s not make waves.”
Then Fear caresses my cheek with its sweaty, clammy hands, and my body shrinks, giving Fear what it wants. I fawn in its presence and say yes to a dance I don’t like at all. I feel darkness consume me—my motivation, my creativity leaking out of me. I feel weak, my authenticity left behind in the corner of a dusty high school gym because it is not welcome.
I begin to drift off in Fear’s arms, and it picks me up like a bride ready to cross the threshold of hopelessness.
Just when I believe all is lost, a sparkle of light flickers in the darkness, beckoning me. Its warmth draws me in, and I begin to untangle myself from Fear, peeling its sticky hands off of me. Love is there, its hand extended, as if it has been waiting for me all along.
I take Love’s hand and immediately feel softer, warmer. My body becomes more agile; I can feel my toes again. My vision clears, and I laugh. Love’s generosity guides me through a Salsa with life and the Universe—a dance I am not as familiar with, especially when facing the unknown. This dance is sensual and alive, an intimate union where Love and I are not two moving together but one.
Love is kind and peaceful as it cheers me on, reminding me there is no need for perfection. We glide across the dance floor, and I recover my authenticity from the shadows. I begin to dance the dance of life. When I step on Love’s toes, rather than scolding me as Fear would, Love laughs and twirls me across a gorgeous field of grass and flowers. I am no longer a wallflower but a wildflower—vibrant, colorful, content in my own energy, trusting my potential.
With Love, I dare to take the next step, trusting that where I land is all part of the dance. I may be clumsy, but I am determined to stay. I spin, drunk off the possibilities, giddy with the joy of trying and dancing no matter the music that plays.
Just when I feel like I’ve got this down, transformed by Love’s embrace, I feel a tap on my shoulder. My body stiffens—it’s Fear. Like an old high school boyfriend feeding me lies, Fear threatens to keep me bound to what’s familiar.
This is the choice I face in every moment of life and in this big decision: Do I turn toward Fear or do I press my body into Love, daring to try something new? Am I willing to believe that with Love, I will be held, and I can hold myself no matter what unfolds?
Today, I choose love and set the intention to choose it again and again. I’m not going to pretend this dance with love will be perfect, but I am commited to trying.
My beautiful, sacred office in a state of disarray as we prepare for the move—trying to embrace the chaos as part of the transition. Deciding what to leave and what to bring has been anything but easy.
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Soul Echoes & Invitation to Share
The Magic of Dancing with Love
What do you notice when you dance with Love?
What shifts within you when you let go of fear and allow love to lead?
What is the magic you experience when you make that choice?
How does your body feel—lighter, freer, more alive?
What do you begin to notice in the world around you and within yourself?
